Well, we had been hoping...
"WE HAVE TO SEE THE MEG!!!!"
So, that's how this happened....
To be honest, we really weren't bothered. Nor were we in the mood, being somewhat pooped and run down, meaning energy and enthusiasm were hard to come by.
But Mr The Bas was keen, and he lives miles away now so to stay on the sofa seemed a tad churlish, so we dragged ourselves to the designated multiplex, ambled to the ticket booth, and realised we'd probably missed the start but what the hey.
We were in the lobby, so might as well get it over with...
... And to be honest, we kind of guessed what the bit of back story was that we missed, but we were swept up by the sheer size and scope of the opening shots and scenes that none of that mattered.
The plot, and let's be kind here and call it that, is unsurprisingly simple — scientists do a thing, disturb stuff, need rescuing, then all hell breaks loose and a giant, mahoosive shark needs taking down.
Now the rescue is, naturally, not straight forward. The team are VERY DEEP. Someone has decide to rescue them alone. This does not go well, so now more people are VERY DEEP.
This requires the only man who can do this, but hasn't done it Since What Happened and is now to be found drinking beers all the live long day.
This is Jonas, then, played by the only man who could make this stuff work — Jason Statham.
We've had passable drama and tension up to this point.
Sure Rainn Wilson playing a billionaire science funder is a stretch, but in Bingbing Li, Ruby Rose, Jessica McNamee, Page Kennedy and Masi Oka (yup, the Heroes guy) there's a solid enough cast for what's to come.
And what's to come is The Stathe rescuing folks and then taking down The Meg.
Yes, this sounds daft, dumb, possibly stupid and overblown.
And The Meg is all of these things.
But it works.
Let's face it, you're not sitting here waiting for nuance and twisted sub plots. You're unlikely to be hoping for over-arching themes and messages (but you get a couple).
You're waiting for The Stathe to punch The Meg.
And in this department, the film more than delivers.
It helps no end that the film knows it's daft and over the top, and plays it straight while clearly having a blast.
The effects are pretty much OK, one ropey CGI bit aside, and while the dialogue is at times clunky as all hell it does the job and takes the story to where it needs to go.
Again, let's be clear here — this is not highbrow, nor is it trying to be.
But it is a hell of a lot of fun.
We jumped a couple of times, we were left grinning, we cared about Pippin, we laughed at the stupid bits, we grinned some more.
Basically, we had fun.
A lot of fun.
No, this film won't make you think. It won't make you ponder the deeper questions.
But you'll see The Stathe being dragged through the water by a winch while a giant shark chases him.
And you'll love this.
In amongst all the daftness, though, there is a very strong plus point about this movie.
There are a number of female characters.
They, along with their male colleagues, need rescuing at various times.
But at no point do they need to be running about in their underwear or standing about in a soaking wet T-shirt.
Instead they are strong, well drawn, central to everything and arguably more important than the men.
And that's one of the things that makes The Meg so great (a relative term, granted).
If you look at the recent Jurassic World films, or the knowingly ridiculous Sharknado franchise — The Meg is neither of these.
It has effects that work, a plot that knows where it starts and stops, rounded characters, and a mahoosive monster sharkie.
And it has all this without the blatant sexism that some directors favour so much.
As we said, this is not a deep meaningful film.
But in an empty screen we had a great two hours of entertainment.
And sometimes, that's all you want or need.
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