And you need to see this clean (even the video clip at the end of this review is safe, as the official trailer gives way too much away).
You also have to have seen Infinity Wars (and we're going to play it safe and dance around that too), so if that's still on your to-do list - crack on. Oh, and Captain Marvel.
But first, some context for how we came to watching Endgame at 8am having had two cups of tea and no breakfast.
Yesterday a work-related thing left us feeling worthless, undervalued and generally crappy, the joys of low mood and depression, eh?
So we spent last night ruminating and cogitating, trying to stop the endless whirring around the brain — but with minimal success.
Managed to get back to sleep at 2am, but the 6am wake-up was undefeatable, so rather than sitting at home just getting more and more annoyed we figured Endgame was the way to go.
As a result, the heightened emotional state combined with a lack of brekkie may have meant we were more susceptible to The Feels.
Or, and we think this is definitely the case, this film packs a huge emotional wallop.
Tears, man. At a Marvel film. Tears.
That's not meant to happen.
But anyway, where were we?
Right, Endgame. Let's talk about that.
Picking up in the aftermath of Infinity Wars, Endgame simply goes again.
Only this time, for obvious reasons (assuming you've seen Wars, obvs) things have changed. People have changed.
So what you get is a massive, huge film - all three hours of it - which has actual emotional weight and heft.
Our heroes are feeling the effects of all that has gone before, and so they need time to process what's happened.
That's not to say this is a dark film. Yeah, it is, but there are some wonderfully underplayed comic touches that lift the mood at just the right time.
And that's what is so good about this film — everything just feels right.
The pacing is spot on, the action scenes have real drama in them, the plot itself is not something you see coming and there are moments that will have you grinning like an idiot.
Oh, and there are those tears.
But perhaps the most amazing thing about this three-hour epic finale to a 10-year story arc is that there's not an ounce of flab here.
Think - if you look back at, say, Lords Of The Rings, there's quite a lot that could go there (especially on the Director's Cut).
But here? Not so much.
No scene overstays its welcome, no action is surplus to requirements — every ounce of this movie has a part to play.
Even the credit sequences are fitting.
Yes, there's more we'd like to say here but we can't without divulging something/anything — so we'll leave it here.
With Endgame, Marvel have raised their already high bar, giving us action, passion and emotion in one giant package.
The future is being left deliberately vague, but the present is just all kinds of beautifully brilliant.