The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (12A)

I'll be honest, I wasn't in the most positive of moods going in to this - not only had it taken me an age to get round to seeing it, but recent events have left me bewildered by humanity.

Over in America, morons seem to have decided the correct response to discovering a girl had decided - through her own free will - to start a career in porn was to hurl abuse at her on Twitter.

The fact this led to her suicide just seems to have fuelled the fire (and Twitter say they can't take her feed down, because the owner of the feed has to request that...).

And then a young man decided that the correct response to women deciding he wasn't the man for them was to go postal with a gun.

And the shock at this has been heightened by the moron fraternity crawling out from under their rock and deciding he was right to do this.

He wasn't.

And agreeing with him is so wrong it beggers belief.

And then, over here in good old Blighty, a party that supports views that should have died out in the 70s is seemingly gaining popularity.

And no one in the media is questioning this.

Instead, bigots, racists and homophobes have decided that their sick opinions now have full validation, and those of us who believe in the rights of the individual are being treated like we're the idiots.

Mad doesn't begin to describe it.

Then, to top it off, Cineworld's genius new strategy of getting rid of those pesky ticket booths and making us get our tickets from the concession stand - where today I got stuck behind people who couldn't decide which snack they wanted to bring on their diabetes - meant I missed most of the pre-credit sequence.

Cineworld - where the customer comes last.

And so do the staff, given the company's love of zero-hour contracts...

Anyhoo, I digress.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Let's talk about that.

Yes. Lets.

Hmmm.

Where to start?

Well, let's focus on the positives - Andrew Garfield as Spidey is brilliant again, and Emma Stone (returning as Gwen Stacy) can't put a foot wrong.

After that, it all gets a bit messy.

Now, not for a second do I think I missed anything vital in the opening scene. You soon work out what was going on, so that's not the reason the film's a bit of a mess.

No. There are plenty of other reasons for that.

For a start, Jamie Foxx's Electro is less than sparkling. As dweeby Max Dillon he's pretty OK, but once the stuff has happened he just seems to lose all his energy.

Which is ironic.

And then there's Harry Osborn (played by Through The Never star Dane DeHaan).

Essentially here just to set-up Spidey 3, he swings between flat, creepy, bit weird and surprisingly well informed (clues to this lie in the trailer - editing is a real problem here).

The performance is fine, but as any fan worth his web knows what lies in store it throws the balance of the film off.

We now have two baddies, meaning neither is really allowed to be built-up in a bid to steal the show.

And while I understand the appeal of bringing him in here, it's a bit of an own goal. Not quite on a par with Tobey Maguire's third and final outing in the suit, but not far off.

Then there's the 3D element.

Not being a fan of the sunglasses, I was watching it in 'as nature intended' 2D - which meant about a third of the film was pointless showboating.

I'd imagine the endless shots of Spidey flying about New York - and the fight with Electro - worked fine in the 3D version, but did they actually add anything?

Did they enhance the story telling in any way?

Nope.

Not a jot. Which means we could lose about 25 minutes off the running time and not miss anything.

And that would have been good, because an hour and 20 minutes in I was looking at my watch, wondering where things were heading and when it would all just end.

Somewhere in here is a good Spidey film. Garfield's got the humour chops and there were moments when I chuckled.

Not many, granted, but a few.

But what comes across more than anything (and this is actually hammered home when you see the trailer) is that director Marc Webb didn't really know where he was taking this one.

The fact four people worked on the "screen story", with three of them going on to tit about with the screenplay explains a lot as well.

Then there's Felicity Jones.

Without spoiling it, she's playing a known Marvel character. And she's a brilliant actress.

So why the hell is she in it so fleetingly.

I'm guessing she'll be in 3, but there's also a good chance there's some good stuff on the cutting room floor.

If there isn't, the writing team need to have a word with themselves.

Finally (sorry, this one's gone on a bit), there's the score.

Now, as a rule I like Hans Zimmer. He's done some good stuff over the years - 12 Years A Slave and Inception spring immediately to mind.

So why he's decided here to through subtlety out of the window here is beyond me.

A score should infuse a scene with emotion - it shouldn't signpost what you you are meant to be feeling with a fanfare.

The drama, the romance - all that should come through the writing. Instead, Zimmer paints over the top with garish hues leaving you in no doubt what was being intended.

Even if that's not what's actually coming across on the screen.

Now I know this film has taken a bunch of money, and I know 3 is already on the way, but this should have been a stunning film.

Instead you're left with a jumbled mess, littered amongst which are a few bright spots.

This has been a bit ranty I know, so I'd like to end on a positive note.

Early on, Gwen Stacy delivers her graduation speech in which she champions hope and then hope is something we all need.

And that, right now, given all that's happening in the world, resonated more than anything else in the movie.

Here's hoping the world comes to it's senses - and that The Amazing Spider-Man 3 is the movie Spidey deserves.

Blue Ruin (15)

Sometimes - and it's a hard thing to do these days - it's wonderful to go into a film knowing nothing about it.

Having heard Mark Kermode's fulsome praise for Blue Ruin (but not having actually heard the meat of his review), I'd been hoping for a chance to catch it while it was still on the big screen.

And, for once, fate was smiling upon me.

And so, water in hand, I took my seat, settled down, and waited...

And 90 minutes later, I'd barely moved.

On the face of it, Blue Ruin is just a revenge thriller - man sets out to get payback after his parents are killed.

But what becomes clear from the opening scene is that this is a film that is out to play with your preconceptions.

The characters are revealed slowly, in layers, as the back-story is slowly fed into the narrative, giving us an ever-changing perspective of events.

And not a scene or shot is wasted - everything is telling us something.

Which is a good job, because dialogue is very thin on the ground.

And that's a good thing.

The silence allows the film to unfold naturally, allows Macon Blair to shape and reveal Dwight's character and motives. It's a near masterclass in silent acting.

And all the time, the tension builds.

Slowly.

You know something's coming, you just don't know when. And then you do know when. And then it happens.

And it's not the actual action at this point that makes you jump.

Nothing up to the first 'big' scene has led you to think it's going to be violent. Yeah, I know it's a 15 certificate (R in Americaland), yeah, it came with warnings, but the sheer unbridled anger and passion in that first attack just blows you away.

And later, you come to think of it as the 'nice' bit...

Because where this film really triumphs - among so many praise-worthy elements - is in the pacing.

Between the violence, things are quiet and peaceful. Still tense as all hell, sure, but things are slow.

And then BOOM.

It's not a spoiler to say someone at some point gets shot in the head, and when it happens you will jump.

At one point Dwight has a crossbow bolt stuck in his leg and decides to try and take it out...

Now, I've seen a horror film or three. I've seen blood n guts, gore n goo - but those five minutes were the hardest I can remember.

And it's tough because it's so bloody simple - the action isn't 'in your face', the pain is in Blair's and in your ears as the sound guys come into their own.

As I said, everything works here. Writer/directer Jeremy Saulnier has triumphed.

It's low-budget, but no where has the film suffered from this. If anything, it's benefited.

You root for Dwight every step of the way. You share his pain, you share his guilt - because Dwight could be anyone of us.

He's not, as is usual in revenge films, a man left dead inside who can go on a killing spree without so much as blinking.

He's a simple man whose life has been torn apart by the death of his parents. He's still in pain, and the only thing that can save him is taking out the man responsible.

But when events spiral out of control, he's still that little scared man. He's left fighting to save what's left of his life.

All he wanted to do was kill one man. He never wanted it to turn into THIS.

The telling of the tale, the unfolding of the drama, the flowing of the blood - it will all leave you transfixed.

And you'll still be thinking about it afterwards. Long, long afterwards...

Godzilla (12A)

I'll be honest - I was looking forward to this. A big monster mosh from Gareth Edwards? What's not to love?

(He did Monsters. You haven't? Go watch it the minute you finish reading this)

And it was a great day to go see it too. Nothing makes a great cinema experience like a bright sunny day keeping the chattering classes at bay...

And then I clocked it was only a 12A. Maybe I should have known this. Tough. I've been busy.

Now, call me optimistic, but I want a bit more than 'mild violence and threat' when my monsters rise from the deep and go a-fighting.

But hey, let's not be hasty, let's not judge. Let's just sit back, hotdog in hand (shush - I'd left my tea at work) and enjoy...

And it starts off well enough - Ken Watanabe and Sally Hawkins discover a thing that's all mysterious and shocking in the Philippines and we're off.

Then it's Bryan Cranston's birthday in Japan, only he and wife Juliette Binoche have to go and work at the nuclear plant in Japan because stuff has been happening.

And then stuff happens. Major stuff.

And at this point you're just wondering how dialogue this crass and hackneyed actually made it as far as the screen.

It's not that it's bad, it's just that there are 60s sci-fi b-movies with more thought-provoking prose.

OK, I know, it's all scene-setting and back story, but is that any reason to let yer kid have a go?

Still, onwards and upwards, and before you know it 15 years have passed and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (he of Kick-Ass fame) is all grown up and back from his job as a bomb disarming expert.

And he's home to see his lovely wife Elizabeth Olsen, and have some time away from all the stress and drama of the disarming of the bombs that he's been busy a-doing.

Alas, it's not to be, and it turns out his dad (Cranston) has been where he shouldn't have been in Japan, trying to prove the accident has been all covered up and gone and got himself arrested.

Having caught the next taxi from San Francisco to Japan (they leave every 10 minutes and don't need booking, right?), ATJ has collected BC and is trying to take him home.

Only he gets sucked into the conspiracy theory and before you can say "no, really?" they've hopped into a friendly boat and return to the scene of the nuclear meltdown. And the family home.

And finally we get a monster.

And, as luck would have it, we get re-united with Watanabe and Hawkins, who are on the scene trying to work out what's going on.

Which is when things get really weird.

Over the remaining 90 minutes we are treated to more "what the WTF?" moments than most people fit into a franchise, interspersed with some monster fights.

And that's the massive problem with this film.

The actual monster scenes are great - I'd go as far as to say breathtaking. The epic size and scope of the ancient beasts is captured perfectly, and every time they appear on screen you're gripped.

I even caught myself holding my breath a couple of times.

It's just the rest of it is filler. And not well thought-out filler.

The head of the military operation seems to teleport about with gay abandon, flitting from ship to shore with an ease that would impress Star Fleet.

There is weight and gravitas being ladled onto dialogue that is just not worthy.

Then there are the WTF moments.

When you're watching it (and you should), ask yourself the following:

• How did the birthday banner get put up?
• 
  
• How does Watanabe manage to just walk onto the flight deck of the aircraft carrier?
• 
  
• How are those windscreen wipers still working?
• 
  
• Where did they find those ladders?

And that's just off the top of my head.

And yet, I didn't hate this film. Far from it.

Yes, things like those listed above annoyed the hell out of me, but once the fights started none of that matters.

And at the end, you really do care what happens to Godzilla.

And that is the crux of what's both great and wrong with this film.

Ol' Godzy is the star - he's what we want to see - and when we do, it's brilliant.

You feel every roar, you want to touch every scale, you're willing him to win his battles - but there's not enough of him.

I don't know if it was a budget issue or a misguided attempt at delaying the impact, but you're made to wait too long for not enough.

It's like queueing for an all-you-can-eat buffet and then finding they're serving nouvelle cuisine.

The fights - and, in fact the entire final third of the film - are also very dark and moody. Not a problem for ol' Mr 2D here, but with the sunglasses on I imagine you're going to struggle to make out who's doing what to whom through the dust and darkness.

Which is frankly criminal.

And yet, as I said, you should see it. It is, for the most part, fun.

Younger audiences won't care about the appalling script and weak characterisation or the fact brilliant actors are being totally wasted here (watching this, you have to force yourself to remember Hawkins was in Blue Jasmine).

They'll love the bosh and the bash and the fires and explosions.

And as long as you disengage brain at the start, so will you.

(Oh, and if you watch the trailer at the top there before going to see the film, let me know what happens to the Statue Of Liberty, because I have no memory of that being in the movie...)

Calvary (15)

I'll be honest, watching a non-IMAX film on the mahoosive IMAX screen in the fair city of Bradford is a slightly odd experience.

There's nothing wrong with the projection, or the film for the matter, it's just that I've got one of those brains that just keeps pointing out how much of the screen isn't being used.

"Look at all that space at the top," mutters Brain. "Look at all that space at the side..."

Fortunately, once Calvary started, Brain shut up and I could allow the wonderful Brendan Gleeson to wash over me.

OK, that sounded better in my head.

Brought to you by the man who also wrote and directed The Guard (John Michael McDonagh is a clever bugger), Calvary looks at the seven days in the life of a Priest after he's told in the confessional he's going to be murdered.

It's probably fair to say he's had better Sundays.

What unfolds is a measured study of one good man going about his business, trying to do the Lord's work while all around him chaos and depravity reign.

There's the local butcher (the stunning Chris O'Dowd) who's just happy that his wife is bonking anything that moves instead of him, there's the businessman (Dylan Moran in possibly his finest acting performance) who is keeping his troubles at bay with vodka, his daughter (Kelly Reilly in a beautifully measured performance) who needs a father not a Father...

The list goes on (I'd better stop though, people like short paragraphs apparently).

What you get is an essay on how to carry yourself with dignity.

Gleeson's priest doesn't know who has threatened him, but rather than hiding he does what he feels he was called to do - help those in need.

Whether they think they're in need or not.

It could be a really dark tale, it could be bleak and depressing - but as with The Guard (which if you haven't seen, you must), the dark tone is frequently shattered with some sublime comic writing.

Take the conversation with the psycho in jail (Domhnall Gleeson), or the chat with a young man who is clearly having doubts about life and love - both could have been quite downbeat, but McDonagh has a real gift for throwing in one liners which have you falling about.

And it's this gift, along with Gleeson (the Brendan one), that make Calvary the film it is.

It's quirky, it's touching, it's dark, it's hilariously funny, it's poignant, it looks stunning, every character is well drawn and has something to offer - and you can take what you want out of it.

Personally I sat there trying to draw parallels between the characters and the seven deadly sins, but that's me.

Others will just sit back and happily enjoy a brilliant film and a great actor at the top of his game.

In The Guard, McDonagh managed to get the audience to like a central character who was essentially unlikeable - in Calvary, he makes you laugh and cry. Almost at the same time.

There's no bad performances, no wasted lines, no wasted scenes - and to top it all off, the scenery is stunning.

As I said, you can take as little or as much as you want from this film, but if you dive in and engage brain you'll be rewarded like no other film this year.

Transcendence (12A)

You know you're in trouble when you come out of a film and you can't work out what the hell it was about.

To be fair, some films are deliberately ambiguous about their message. Others just don't know what it is they're trying to say.

Transcendence is the latter.

You may have seen the trailers. If you're a fan of DC Comic's New 52 run, you'll have seen the adverts. And you'll probably still be none the wiser.

Well, welcome to my world.

At it's most basic level, the film is about a top scientist blokie (Will Caster, played by Johnny Depp) who gets his brain uploaded onto a super server by his heartbroken Mrs (Evelyn, played by Rebecca Hall).

Now, I know what you're going to say - surely that's OK, just as long as she doesn't connect a super intelligence to the internet nothing can go wrong.

Funny story...

To be fair, there are a number of people who can see the flaw in this plan. And they do try to stop it happening.

But they fail.

So they have to try again, only this time Caster has rigged the markets, made his wife (Widow? I mean, sure he's dead, but in many ways he's still alive. Let's go with semi-widow) rich beyond her wildest dreams, bought a town, created a super computer facility and advanced technology at a rate that would impress the Borg.

And all from the warmth of his processor.

And this is where the message gets seriously muddled.

You see, on the one hand it's a story of how love can overcome anything. On the other hand it's about the dangers of allowing technology to become all consuming. On the third hand it's about the fear of change stopping progress. On the fourth hand, it's about letting the genie out of the bottle. On the fifth hand, there's the whole God question.

But writer Jack Paglen fails to come to a conclusion on any of those things - he's just happy to go 'this happens, and this happens, and this happens, and...'.

It would have been nice if he'd even attempted to create well-rounded characters, but hey. You can't have everything.

Amazingly, though, it's not all bad.

If you can stop your brain asking all the questions it will want to ask (such as 'how did he not know they were digging the tunnel?'), sit back and just look at the view then you won't have wasted your money.

You see, directing this jigsaw puzzle of a movie is the one and only Wally Pfister - a man best known for making Christopher Nolan's films look all shiny.

And, a few 'for the hell of it' shots aside, he's done a good job. He's got decent performances out of everyone (even if Paul Bettany, Morgan Freeman, Cillian Murphy and Kate Mara are pretty much cruising through the movie), it looks amazing...

Well, OK, that's pretty much it.

But it does look amazing.

The problems, though, are all in the writing. Granted it's Paglen's first film, so hopefully he'll learn from this, but someone somewhere should have read this and gone 'it's all a bit flat, innit'.

We know nothing about the people, no questions are asked of the science, no stand is taken, no conclusions reached - it's as if the AI machine PINN wrote the whole thing.

Using computer logic, it works - there are full stops, commas, dialogue, action, in fact all the key elements you'd say make up a screenplay.

But it lacks heart, it lacks soul. It lacks passion. It's a thriller that fails to thrill, an action film that lacks action.

The whole thing just leaves you wondering what you watched - and more importantly, why.

But it does look lovely.

(I'll be honest, this has been the toughest reviews I've written in a while. It would have been so much easier if I'd hated it.)

Muppets Most Wanted (U)

I may have mentioned previously that getting to the latest filums is proving a tad tricky - what with life getting in the way n that - but I get there in the end.

Usually.

But these delays cause other problems - not least when the rest of the world has already had its say on a film.

And EVERYONE has had their say on The Muppets.

You see, the problem with the Muppets is that people love them - and when you produce a film as good as the last one, expectations are high for the sequel. Almost unreasonably.

But they knew that.

Hence the opening song.

And in that opening four minutes you get all that is great - and bad - about Muppets Most Wanted.

Hell, they make the joke themselves about how the sequel is never as good as the previous film. They also point out that this isn't their first sequel.

And it's this self-knowing referential style that is the cause of some the problems with Muppets Most Wanted.

Granted I may be over-thinking this, but a film about theft (the gang go on a world tour so the top two criminals in the world can try and pinch the crown jewels) that steals from a myriad of other films is almost trying to be too clever.

Pretty much every prison break-out is ripped off, there's a gag about the number of famous cameos using Robin, the Marx Brothers' mirror scene makes an appearance... And the whole thing is put together like a long episode of the TV show that gave Kermit and the gang their big break.

Actually, on the subject of cameos, I think this is where the film may have suffered a bit in America - the majority of 'blink and you'll miss 'em' performances seemed to be the great and good of British film and TV.

Much as I love him, I'm pretty sure no one in America has heard of Russell Tovey.

And then there's the songs. There are so many shoehorned in that it actually derails the plot. And man are they shoehorned.

That's not to say the songs aren't good, they are - but it feels like the action stops every five minutes just to get another musical number in.

Although if I find out which writer came up with the Celine Dion number I will be using Harry's explosive skills to get revenge.

I can understand the flack this film has come under - it doesn't have the heart, love and sheer unbridled joy of the first one...

...but that doesn't make it a bad film.

I still laughed. A lot. All the main Muppets put in good performances. And the main human co-stars (Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey and Ty Burrell) shine.

Yes, the jokes are a bit lame (take a bow, Usher) and laboured at times - but that's kind of the point.

And no, it's not The Muppets (the last film, not the cast) - but it was never going to be once Jason Segel moved on to other projects.

But Gonzo's still Gonzo, there are two Kermits, Fozzy still isn't funny and Beauregard gets smacked in the face by a pigeon. That's pretty much all boxes ticked.

Most Wanted won't live long in the memory for many who saw it, but there is so much going on, so many little bits packed in to each and every scene, it will benefit from a second viewing.

If only to give you the chance to see what's on Dominic's business card...

Captain America The Winter Soldier (12A)

Time can be a cruel mistress - not only has it taken longer than is really acceptable to actually catch Steve Rogers' third cinematic outing, but further delays have resulted in a later-than-wanted review.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I'd been frozen in ice for a few decades.

But that's by the by - it's been watched, it's being reviewed and all is hopefully well with the world.

Oh, and Robert Redford is in it.

Which is nice.

For the Marvel geeks out there, you know the score - this all happens post-New York, Rogers is out of the ice and kicking the butt.

For the casual reader who thinks Avengers was a piss-poor film version of a much-loved TV show, strap in. This could be bumpy.

(Marvel fans, go get a drink)

Right, in the first Captain America film, we are told the story of how the Cap came to be, and then came to be in modern America having been frozen in ice being all heroic during WW2.

And he missed his date with his gal, so he wasn't happy.

Then The Avengers happened, aliens tore New York a new one and Joss Whedon showed the world just how you make a multi-star epic work.

Which brings us to now.

(Marvel fans may return to the room, you've missed nothing)

It's a slightly odd wotsit that Winter Soldier is a sequel to an ensemble film rather than the first Cap film, but really that's where we're at.

Marvel is treating the film world like it's book universe - crossovers galore and you don't always need to have read/watched the previous instalment.

And that's certainly the case here.

There's enough filling in of backstory subtly laced through Winter Soldier to mean the casual film-goer won't have missed anything - and there's enough nods to what's happened to keep those in the know happy.

A good balancing act if you can pull it off.

This time around, Steve Rodgers is just kicking about waiting for his missions and making chums when...

...Well, quite a lot happens.

The mission  isn't what he thought it would be, people are working on 'needs to know' settings and Government actions become questionable.

Now, you may have seen or heard the odd review saying Winter Soldier has a kind of 70s thriller vibe going on.

It doesn't.

The only reason people are saying that is Redford. And he's not playing that guy. Quite the opposite.

Also, 70s thrillers - good as they are - don't tend to have 20-minute action set pieces where, variously, boats, cars and lifts full of people end up in bits.

And Winter Soldier is far more in tune with modern suspicions and paranoia. Although, to be fair, the 'what is The Man doing now?' motif is pretty timeless.

That said, there is far more going on here than simply another super hero blow-em-up blockbuster.

The opening salvo is pretty mild. Rogers is jogging, meeting a new friend, going on a mission - all ho-hum set-up stuff.

And then you realise that you haven't moved for a bit.

The tension and drama creep up on you while you're watching Nick Fury (yup, Sammy Jackson's back again) get shot at by the boys in blue.

Before you know it, you're gripped - and that's not a word one usually associates with a comic book caper.

Entertained, yes. Blown away, probably. Enthralled, almost certainly. But gripped?

Yes.

You see directors Anthony and Joe Russo have managed to blend serious amounts of suspense, drama and plot twists with the big fight scenes we've come to expect.

Chris Evans, back as The Cap, has clearly found his feet and settled in to the shield, Scarlett Johansson has now made Black Widow her own, and Anthony Mackie soars as Falcon.

To be honest, Redford slightly jars here as he clearly wants to add a level of gravitas that seems slightly out of kilter - but hey, it's Bob, he still pulls it off.

And that's the only complaint.

Yes, it's long, but you barely notice. Yes, the final showdown is long, but it's shorter than the final battle in Avengers. Yes, if you've read the cast list there's a massive spoiler concerning the Winter Soldier, but that was always going to be a tricky cover given the fans knew what the score was.

Oh, and the hand-held camera work can induce mild sea sickness in those susceptible.

But these really are quibbles.

The action is very fast-paced. The slower, more political side of the plot still licks along at a fair pace, the performances are - to a man/woman - top draw, and there are a few laughs to keep you ticking along.

And the ending provides enough ammunition for the Marvel geek set to argue over where the film universe is heading for the next five years.

Pre-Avengers, Iron Man was leading the way for the film adaptations, with Captain America perhaps being more one for the fans.

Post-Avengers, there's a clear, darker tone as Marvel build to their next big showcase, and of the ones that have come out so far (Iron Man 3 and Thor 2), Winter Soldier is by far the best.

I know some believe Winter Soldier to be the best yet, a point I would have probably argued as I left the AMC in Manchester - but looking back, I think this could be the next big Marvel game changer.