Identity Thief (15)

Ever meet those people who you actually like, you enjoy their company, they occasionally make you laugh... and yet, they're not actually funny?

You know the sort. You'll meet them at parties, or the office or the school gate. You can talk to them for a bit, that's cool, they'll crack jokes, one or two will hit, but after a while you really just want to get away. And you feel bad, because you know they're a good person, it's just they could be funnier, more enjoyable company - only they're not.

That's Identity Thief. Right there.

The premise should work - woman tricks man into divulging details so she can print off her own credit card using his details and wrack up huge bills while partying and shopping like Paris Hilton before her grandparents realised what the rest of the world already knew.

And the cast should work. Jason Bateman has more than cemented his place in our hearts, for a start. Sure his film CV is patchy (Juno = good, Horrible Bosses = not good), but he's in Arrested Development. And he's brilliant in it. Then there's Melissa McCarthy. OK, she's in Mike And Molly (it's funny... because they're fat..), but despite that she's done some good film work. Well, OK, she was in Bridesmaids - but she was bloody funny in it.

And despite all the evidence, Seth Gordon can direct. Maybe not films (did you see Horrible Bosses?), but Breaking In was brilliant. Even if no-one actually watched it. It was quick, and sharp, and funny.

And funny's important. Especially in a comedy. In fact, it's pretty much the only thing it has to be. The rest of the thing can be an implausible mess, but as long as the jokes arrive and make you laugh, then all is forgiven. Take Movie43 for example. If it had actually managed to be funny, people wouldn't have hated it. Then there's I Give It A Year. Sure, flawed as all hell, but it makes you laugh. And that's all it has to do.

Which is pretty much where Identity Thief falls down. Not completely, granted - I counted two laughs out loud, a couple of chuckles and some smiles - but it's not half as funny as it should, or in fact could, be. And that's the real crime here.

Part of the problem is the actual pairing of Bateman and McCarthy. While he is the king of deadpan, flat delivery, she is big and over the top. And while it should work, it just fails to mesh properly.

Then there's the dialogue. These two can deliver lines, so why weren't they given any? I'm at home with swearing, as we know. But it's never a punchline. And yelling rude words as insults can be funny, but isn't here. Even when it really should be.

Then there's the plot. It's got all the basics in place - odd couple road trip, chaos ensues. Job done. Except Craig Mazin and Jerry Eeten felt the need to embellish, flesh things out. So as well as the poor saps who get caught up in the japes and wheezes (and to be fair, Eric Stonestreet as Big Chuck raises a titter or three), we have a bounty hunter chasing down McCarthy's Diana after she skips bail.

All well and good, fair and reasonable, exactly the sort of thing she'd do. It's the Latino drug cartel heavies who stretch things.

Now let's be clear about this - in a madcap, screwball, dare we say zany, comedy, you can push limits, stretch boundaries, give plausibility the week off, that's fine. That's part of the deal.

What you can't do is try and add 'grit', for want of a better word. She's a sharp, sassy, loud-mouthed trickster is Diane. She knows what she's doing and can look after herself. And she doesn't tend to cross people who would come after her with guns.

Only she has.

For no other reason than to have two people with guns running about the place. And this film didn't need it. The bounty hunter would have been good enough. Plenty of comedy fodder there, as he gets taped up in the back of his van after a fairly comic car chase. Throwing two more people in, and then seemingly forgetting about them once the boot (trunk, if you're that way inclined) had slammed shut. A completely pointless addition that detracts from what could be funny bits. And the less said about the guy in prison the better. One assumes the uncredited Jonathan Banks owed Gordon money. Not much, just enough to explain his pointless inclusion in about three scenes.

But I can't be angry about this film. I wanted to like it, some bits of the trailer had made me laugh out loud (something the same scenes failed to do when I watched the whole movie...), I like the two leads, I like Gordon's TV work, but Identity Thief just left me feeling, well, nothing really.

It looks nice, it's well filmed, well made, but it has all the substance and lingering bite of, ironically, popcorn. The idea sounds appetising, and you don't mind spending almost two hours with a bag of the stuff, but it's not going to define your evening, and there are more fulfilling snacks available.

Oh, and according to IMDB, Identity Thief 2 has already been announced. What fun.