Well I do - money. It's going to be a hit so why take the risk on something new, eh?
But how does Hollywood ever find a new writer, a new good idea when all they're doing is rehashing old favourites?
It would be good, of course, if this was the reason a small section of the male population were up in arms. It would be good if the dearth of originality was what was causing them to attack their keyboards with their little clubs.
But it's not.
No, it seems some people are all bent out of shape about the fact we now have an all-female cast (plus token eye candy care of La Belle Hemsworth).
Which is nothing short of pathetic.
Because if you can get past the small issue of a remake (or reboot, depending how you look at it) what you've got here is nothing short of brilliant.
The gender issues aren't important.
Well, no, that's not true. What they do is serve to help the 2016 version step out of the shadow of its 1984 daddy and be seen in a new light.
And it works.
Oh sweet Jebus, it works.
From the opening pre-title sequence to the closing credits (and when was the last time you were having so much fun you stayed for those?) this film is just one long rollercoaster of FUN.
It knows what it's doing.
You've got jokes, great performances from the 'Busters (Melissa McCarthy, Kirsten Wiig, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon), superb effects, tension, spooks, jumps, slime...
Really, what else did you want?
What? Geek-tastic cameos? Oh yeah, boy, you got those.
As I sat there, loving it more and more with every passing scene, my bafflement at the negative reactions just kept growing.
Is it like the original? No.
Is it as good as the original? No.
Is it even trying to be? No.
Because what the 2016 version is offering is a different take on the story, a different look at the set-up, and most importantly bringing a new generation their own spooky wonderland.
When you've spent two hours just relaxing and grinning at the big screen, you know this film has hit all the targets it set itself.
OK, yes, it's a cynical money-making bid - but screw it. When it's this much fun, I'll go and pay again.
I know that only encourages them, but if it gets these four back together for round two it'll be worth it.
And it's not a frame-for-frame remake with just the testicles swapped out. This has its own story.
It just happens to feature a few things you recognise.
And it's that bit that makes Ghostbusters 2016 so joyous.
This film has been made with love, with heart and with soul.
The people involved have done this because they really wanted to do a good job - and when it gets the clear seal of approval from the lauded alumni, you know they've done that.
I would even consider seeing this in 3D. That's how much I enjoyed it.
Sure, you can spot the bits where stuff and things are going to come flying out at you, but I was so immersed I really wanted to suddenly duck.
If I could get slimed then even better.
Look, you can get bent out of shape about the fact a girlie is holding the fancy toys, you can foam at the mouth that the only man in the main cast is playing the secretary, you can even take to the web forums and claim the only good reviews are from people Sony have paid.
If that's what makes you get out of bed in the morning, then rock on.
Meanwhile, the rest of us can carry on enjoying a bright, brash, fizzy, bangy, funny, explodie, gunkie, slimy, ghoulie spooktastic laughfest.
It doesn't matter who's wearing the pants, what matters is does this film give you all the things you wanted from a Ghostbusters movie?
And it does. With extra weird sciency knobs on.
(Oh, and just for the record, the theme tune sucks. Fall Out Boy? Really??? Do me a favour...)
And just for old times' sake: